I know you are tired and confused and sore and feeling a bit lost but I promise you it will get better. I know you are feeling unsure about your ability to be a mum, about whether you are ready for the responsibility of being a mum and looking after your brand new baby girl – at times it will be a tough journey but being a mum will make you the happiest you have ever been.
The reality of having a baby is so different from your expectations and you can feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility on your shoulders – it is early days, your hormone levels are still all over the place and you are tired and sore from giving birth.
Breastfeeding hurts and you didn’t expect it to be this hard but, this too, will ease and I hope you can focus on the positives – your baby is feeding and well, you just don’t have any support to know what is normal. Stick at it because you will enjoy it.
I know Alice can’t be put down anywhere yet – relax and go with all the cuddles. You are both getting to know each other and you both need this – sit back and chill and rest with your baby. Don’t feel that you have to get up and keep busy, don’t feel that you have to teach your baby to settle in her moses basket when all she wants is you, don’t battle with your instincts.
And, finally, you are co-sleeping because Alice she won’t settle at night and you feel like a failure because you think that a good mum knows how to get her baby to settle by herself but she needs to be close to you and, right now, you need to be close to her too. Trust your instincts, do what feels right for you and Alice and stop battling with what feels right because life will be a little easier and you will be less anxious when you do.
Eventually you will realise and accept that you don’t have all the answers – no parent does – and that some days are magical and some days are shit. Enjoy the great ones and write off the bad ones because you are only human and there’s always tomorrow and chocolate!
I am an antenatal teacher, doula, baby massage instructor, postnatal educator, life coach, writer, mum, wife, friend and, sometimes, just me.
As an experienced and qualified practitioner, I specialise in pregnancy, birth and early parenting - my aim is to listen, inform, support and reassure when needed.
I have worked with parents since 2002 and I set up Birth, Baby & Family in 2011 to provide good information, a different perspective and links to the best products and services for families.
I set up the Birth, Baby & Family Centre in 2014 to provide a welcoming, friendly and supportive space for parents across Tyneside.