Feeding my babies
I don’t have any pictures of me feeding my babies but feed them I did, in many different places and without apology.
When I was pregnant with my first baby I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to breastfeed – no one around me ever had and I wasn’t convinced it was for me. But it was the right thing for us when she was born, it felt right but it was bloody hard work and I struggled for two weeks to get it going – it was my bloody mindedness that made me keep going. I felt completely overwhelmed by the responsibility of a baby and being her only source of food so we also introduced a bottle of formula every day from when she was about 3 months old and I know this enabled me to continue feeding her myself until she was one.
I still felt as bonded and connected to her as when she was breastfeeding and I have no regrets about that at all.
With my second baby she was only breastfed and I fed her for 2 years. I didn’t go back to my 9-5 job and I was a far more relaxed mother. She fed well straight away and we never experienced any difficulties at all.
With my third baby, he was too poorly to feed and he had a feeding tube inserted into his stomach on the day he was born. My milk came in and I used to pump to ease the pressure in my boobs and to keep my supply going. I expressed several times a day during the three days my son was alive. After he died I expressed only to ease the pressure on my boobs. I was asked if I would like medication to stop producing my milk – I didn’t, I liked making and leaking milk, it meant my son had been born, it was a reminder of him and I loved that.