Life’s busy with life, with juggling, with work, with worrying, with stressing, with just being busy and I’m a bit sick of it. It’s making me stressed, over-stretched and ill – I’ve been tired and anxious, with a need to relax and slow-down. So it’s time to focus on managing stress and whinging less.
My loves in life are my family, my friends and my work – I’m really lucky because work never feels like work, I love what I do and who I work with. But the stress comes from trying to do too much, trying to fit too much in and when I’m stressed and tired, I can be whingy and everything feels like a chore.
I don’t want to live my life this, yearning for holidays when I can just stop, I want to achieve better balance to be happy and to enjoy all the things I love day to day. The last 10 years have involved so much loss and grief and I want my happy, positive self back.
The last few weeks have been about reflection and change to simplify life – I work for myself and I work a lot of evenings and weekends so I have changed my schedule to have writing time and down time so I’m not busy being busy.
I’m much more focused at work – enjoying the work I want to do with parents. I have accepted that I can’t do everything, I am just one person but I can do what I do well.
Learning to say no, or just not offering to take on more – I’m a doer and a bit of a control freak so it’s been easy in the past to just say “I’ll do it”. That is changing, I’m learning to let go of things and to say no to the stuff I don’t really have to do. It is very freeing.
Mindset is important and I’ve been thinking about what can cause my stress and negativity thinking. I have decided that that this stuff doesn’t matter:
- all the stuff I can’t control
- what other people find stressful
- what other people moan about
- most of what other people say and do
- the negativity on the tv and in the media
- needless scrolling through Facebook
- wondering about what other people are doing or saying
I didn’t think I was at all bothered about what other people do but it can creep in and Facebook can draw us in to other people’s worlds, it can create comparisons and subtle pressures and it can swallow up our time.
My new moto is Do Life On Purpose so I am making these few simple changes to simplify life to achieve more focus and more energy. And so far these few tweaks are working – I already feel calmer, happier, focused, content, warm and generous. As I get older I don’t want to waste time, I want to enjoy the things I love, I want to take better care of myself and I want to take control of that.
Being stressed isn’t fun and life is precious so it is worth thinking about where the changes can be made to ease the stress, to have more energy and a more positive life balance.
Janine Smith | a specialist in parent support