As I cuddled my gorgeous girls in bed last night, a thought crossed my mind – they are not going to want to do this forever! They are growing so fast and it seems only a seconds ago since they were babies and toddlers, exploring the world with eagerness and fun.
I love having my growing girls, I love their insights and their conversation, I do love watching them grow and change but I do so miss the baby and toddler times, especially because I know I will never be doing it again with a child of mine.
I am glad I cuddled and carried my babies as much as I did, I am glad I co-slept so they were close and I woke up to their smiling faces every morning, I am so glad I made the choices I did but I wish I had enjoyed them more when I was exhausted and resenting the little me time I had.
It was tough going when they were clambering all over me all the time, when only I could settle and soothe them, when I was so tired that I felt low and fed up, when I didn’t have an evening out for what felt like forever because I was either too tired or attached to a baby. But I made it through, I survived.
But I am glad I had all that time with my little girls, I have such amazing memories and so do they. Now we talk, we cook together, play games together and cuddle and curl up together. I know they are still young and of course they still need me, I still make them feel safe but I am aware that, as they grow more, that will shift and the cuddles will slowly disappear.
The exhaustion of early motherhood was for them, I would do it again in a heartbeat and I will always be there for them and I will continue to be their safe place when they need one. I am their mother.