My bed has been my safe place, some days during my depression I would struggle to leave it, some days I would be desperate to get back to it. My bed has been the place where I have gained comfort and security.
Last year, I spent a lot of time in my bed to heal and to sleep. Everything that needed to be done was done but early nights, lazy mornings and some lazy afternoons in bed have helped to make me better. I did start to worry about whether my kids would see me as the woman who was always in bed but they have never mentioned it negatively and we have had plenty of cuddles, movies, books and chats while I was in bed
so their needs were met.
Last year – if I could have a lie-in I would have one and if I wasn’t teaching at night, I would be in my pjs and under my duvet by 4pm. I slept and snoozed alot, which I initially tried to fight but I figured that I needed to heal and sleep would help me to do that.
Depression, anxiety, staying positive and keeping going has been exhausting, no wonder I was tired. And now that I feel stronger, I have much more energy and I don’t need to retreat to my bed – I rarely have a lie-in now and I am rarely in bed before 10pm. It was a sign that I wasn’t well, I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ but I also learnt to stop analysing and fighting it, it became important to give in to what my body needed. I have a renewed energy for life but I needed those months with my safety blanket to heal.