I can hear the sound of galloping horses in the distance. I’m lying on the examination bed in the midwife’s office, and daddy and E are leaning over me, listening intently too. The midwife is holding an ultrasound doppler against my belly, and I am hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
This brings back memories. I’m 15 weeks and 6 days. First the midwife tells me that we might not hear anything and not to worry if we don’t (although of course I would have been terrified!) The heartbeat, however, is clear and strong. Cue a huge sigh of relief all round. Then a hop off the couch to check my blood pressure (absolutely normal) and book in my next midwife appointment. In the meantime we’re eagerly awaiting the anomaly scan, when we’ll have the chance to have another peep at babe, and hopefully determine we are expecting a boy or a girl. Exciting times.
All of a sudden, things have picked up pace. Tomorrow I will be seventeen weeks into my pregnancy, and it feels as though it won’t be so long before there will be fewer weeks to go than have gone past already. Not at all like my first pregnancy, where it took forever to get to this point and beyond. This time things seem to be moving past in the blink of an eye!
I’ve christened this baby “Cupcake”. I have a t-shirt with a picture of a bun on it and the words “IN THE OVEN” underneath. E pointed at the bun the first time I wore the shirt and said it was a cake. It’s quite a fitting name for the sibling of the Little Pudding, I suppose. Not that she’s got a particularly sweet tooth.
We’re not even close to being ready for Cupcake’s arrival. There are boxes and bags in the loft of things we used first time around with E and that we have kept. Going through it all and deciding what can go and what we need to get out, wash and put into place ready for babe’s arrival is a daunting prospect, although more because I know I will spend far too much time on it than I really need to, and I’ll end up taking a few strolls down Memory Lane on the way. Tiny reusable nappies, Moses basket, newborn clothes, baby bouncer, all those things have long been put away for future use, and here we are on the verge of bringing them all out again.
E seems quite interested in the prospect of a brother or sister. She has a baby doll, and enjoys hearing it say “mama” and “dada”, and she likes to use the toy bottle and feed it. We talk lots about baby to her, and how, when baby arrives, such or such or such a thing might happen. When we play with friends’ babies, or I hold them, she never gets upset, or makes a fuss. She shares me quite happily. I’m hoping that this is a good thing, and that’s it’s a positive sign of what’s to come in a few short months. However, we can only wait and see.
This entry has been quite short. It feels to me almost like the calm before the storm. I feel almost like I’m a snowball at the top of the hill, and that I’m about to roll down to the bottom. And, as I roll, I’ll collect more and more snow around me, until suddenly I’ll be this gigantic sized snowman. And that’s when baby will arrive.
Except it’s summer, and there’s not much snow to speak of just yet.