what they may be doing…
- pushing against you and any boundaries
- focusing on and struggling with friends, who are more important to them
- being distant
- being secretive
- experimenting with their identity, who they are and what they like to do
- having sex
- they may not want to be seen in public with you
- developing and expressing an interest in the world
- thinks you don’t know anything and that you have never done anything
- misreading emotions and facial expressions
- wanting to make their own decisions
- sleeping more and staying up later
- trying drugs
what they need…
- no criticism or judgement on their opinions, choices and experimentations with their look
- to be able to come to you
- information and simple communication
- gentle planning
- someone to listen when they need it
what you might need…
- to remember they are not rejecting you
- let go of control
- to listen to them
- offload to someone
- try not to take it personally
- have your own life
what are teenagers like to live with?…
A real mix! When it is good, it is brilliant – music, movies, laughter, chat, catching up, food, connecting, noise and friends. I love nothing more than a house full of kids and all the chaos that comes with that.
When it’s bad, it’s pretty horrible – shouting, door slamming, not speaking, not eating with us, tears, secrets, not sticking to curfews, not answering their phone, arguing back, saying no to everything.
And in-between there is the general mess, badgering about homework, attempting to keep on top of their whereabouts with school, clubs and friends, dealing with pocket money issues and those wonderful hormones.
But being made tea and toast in bed is pretty good and the occasional dinner is lovely too!