tough anniversary

The week before the boy’s birthday is always a tough one, it always has been. His birthday is often quite calm and it is always hard to plan work around it because I just don’t know how I will be. So this year I am ploughing on through it, I don’t know if that is a good thing or not but it is what I am doing. 

Grief for me is about missing someone so much that my mind and body hurts so I feel a bit emotional and it all feels a bit raw. Grief for me is also about shedding a tear when I see sunflowers in the shops because it is a sign that the one week of the year I dread is here. It was such a traumatic week of love, hope, fear, anxiety, worry, emotion, relief and tension and that has cast a long lasting shadow.
Jamie’s birthday next week will be calm and normal but the days before are hideous and emotional –
 eight years on that hasn’t changed. 

Jamie 012

 

About Janine 574 Articles
I am an antenatal teacher, doula, baby massage instructor, postnatal educator, life coach, writer, mum, wife, friend and, sometimes, just me. As an experienced and qualified practitioner, I specialise in pregnancy, birth and early parenting - my aim is to listen, inform, support and reassure when needed. I have worked with parents since 2002 and I set up Birth, Baby & Family in 2011 to provide good information, a different perspective and links to the best products and services for families. I set up the Birth, Baby & Family Centre in 2014 to provide a welcoming, friendly and supportive space for parents across Tyneside.

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